Since those of you reading this don't know me, you'll have to take my word for it. I'm not an arrogant person. In fact, I tend to be very hard on myself and undervalue what I accomplish. Still, I do think a lot.
I often wonder about writers who think a lot and how they make believable characters who don't. This may be why I have trouble finding publishers—although my characters aren’t Mary Sues, they tend to be smart and tend to think things through.
In my head I know that many people react on impulse and don't think of consequences. Would crime be an issue, for example, if people thought through the likely outcome? I have trouble turning it off though. When my characters do something illogical it tends to be extreme.
Bipolar isn't likely an accurate description, but I do tend to be depressed a lot and very happy at other times. I find that I write better when I'm depressed, probably because it's a form of therapy. When I'm down, however, I can't think of why anybody would do something illogical.
It's when I'm in a good head-space that I can think of the subtle things that would be interesting in the context of a story. I have trouble writing, however, when things are not bothering me.
Don't get me wrong, I write every day. In some form or other I put time into my craft. I have to soldier through, no matter how I feel. But I'm not sure how other people do it.
This seems to me the dilemma of the writer. I don't talk to other people on a regular basis. I don't get to ask them how they would think through a situation. Worse yet, the people I do talk to don't know that I write.
Writing alone is difficult. I'm stuck in my own head. Still, I can't write in a crowd. Perhaps this is the writer's ultimate dilemma. We have to live in at least two different worlds.
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