Who Goes There?

The success of a friend felt personal.  Well, perhaps “friend” is too strong a word, but I feel a natural camaraderie with other writers.  He’s a guy I know from work.  We occasionally share projects, and I had no idea that he was a fiction writer.  Until his novel published.

As I sent him a congratulatory email, a strange thought occurred to me.  We rely on publishers to get out hard-won efforts out to a reading public, and yet, the relationship often feels adversarial.

It’s almost like the publisher is the enemy to writers.  We who seriously write know that we have something to offer.  We pour ourselves into our words, laying ourselves naked for the world to criticize.  And we’re told not to take rejection personally.

Is it possible to stand naked before someone only to have that person turn away and walk out and not to take it personally?  Editors and Judas Iscariot.  What a team.

As a writer, I read a lot.  By some estimates I read nearly a hundred books a year.  I think I might know a good book when I see one.  Or write one.  A couple of my novels (unpublished, of course) aren’t that good.  I wrote them for the sheer joy of writing.

One novel that I felt truly had a spark, a unique voice and unusual concept, a strong voice rather than my usual timid explorations, has only resulted in numerous rejections.  It is better than much of what I’ve read.  I’m biased, of course, but I do know good books when I read them.

I would say that I’ve lost track of the number of declines I’ve had, but I would be lying.  I’m obsessively scrupulous about keeping track of what I send out and to whom.  More editors than I would like to admit have asked me to go away.

Believe in yourself.  While I’m writing, while I’m in the heat of inspiration, I know I’m doing something that might be termed sacred.  It’s almost sexual.  I’m bearing my very psyche for all to look at.  And criticize.  I’ve got to believe.

My colleague broke through that invisible barrier that says only the privileged deserve to write.  I will press on, encouraged by his success.  And I hope, some day, the publisher may become a friend instead of a constant foe.